Week Thirteen: Assess Emotional Energy

Welcome back to the Remodel Your Reality Challenge! Now that you’ve gotten a handle on your physical and mental energy, it’s time to think about your emotional energy – your feelings and your reactions to those feelings.

The emotional factor of energy has a powerful effect on your vitality and your sense of self. Treating other people with respect, taking action on your own behalf, and communicating clearly will help you maximize your emotional power.

One Thing To Think About

The emotional factors of energy are usually the most challenging to deal with. These have to do with life experiences that are unresolved and are directly linked to your interactions with other people. They can be charged with angst—such as feelings of guilt, shame, fear, embarrassment, frustration, anger, and regret.

One Question To Answer

Is your emotional energy strong, or is it being drained by unresolved or unaddressed issues?

Experiences that impact your emotions only diminish your energy when they’re left unresolved. The best way to determine if a situation is unresolved is to connect with the charge of feeling you have associated with the experience. If you can recall the scenario with a level of neutrality and calm, it’s probable that you’ve reached a level of closure related to that event. It’s even possible you’ve pulled valuable lessons from your encounter.

If, however, you feel a jolt of emotion, such as anger, fear, shame, embarrassment, or regret when recalling the event, it’s likely you have some unresolved feelings to contend with. These are the experiences that use precious units of your energy and that you need to inventory.

Take the following assessment, designed to help you identify where you may be losing emotional energy. Answer either yes or no to each question.

  1. Do you tell the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable to do so?
  2. Do you say no to invitations you aren’t interested in accepting?
  3. Do you spend time only with people you like and enjoy?
  4. Do you require the people in your life to treat you with respect?
  5. Do you feel loved and accepted by those closest to you?
  6. Have you accepted the experiences in your past?
  7. Have you let go of any past anger or regret?
  8. Are you able to ask for what you want?
  9. Are your current relationships clean and constructive?

Any question you answered no to is very likely contributing to your energy deficit. These are more complex issues than those within your physical or mental inventories. For that reason, you may need to approach them more slowly, carefully, and thoughtfully.

One Challenge To Take

Identify one situation in your emotional inventory that you feel ready to address. Get clear about what you require to resolve the situation.

  • Do you simply need to process it? If so, writing a letter allowing yourself to express your feelings may be enough to reach resolution.
  • Would you like an apology or a changed behavior from the other person? Once you’re clear about what you’d like to communicate, arrange to have a conversation with the other person during a time when you will be uninterrupted.
  • Do you need to make amends or take action on your own behalf? If so, get clear about what you’re sorry for, or the circumstances you’d like to create for yourself.

Decide to work through only one item at a time and allow yourself to move at a comfortable pace. Seek the support of a close friend, family member, or your coach, and remember that small steps will lead you to the energetic liberation you seek.

Until next time, take care!

Kim

Week Twelve: Take A Project Inventory

Welcome back to The 52 Week Remodel Your Reality Challenge! You’ve done a great job so far of identifying and addressing the things that drain your physical energy, and have begun to look at how you can increase your mental energy. Just like how decluttering your house reenergizes you physically, reclaiming your mental energy involves clearing out mental clutter that drains you, distracts you and holds you back with unfinished business. We’ve already tackled your to-do list in previous posts, so today we’re going look at all those projects you have sitting around.

One Thing To Think About

A project is something you’d like to create or accomplish that requires multiple steps. For example, drafting a financial plan or redecorating a room. Most of us keep an inventory of uncompleted plans in our minds. But having all that unfinished business hanging over your head can suck the energy right out of you. It can also leave you feeling anxious and depressed. This creates a vicious circle, since the energy drain this creates leaves you too tired and too stressed out to work on any of your projects.

The simple act of getting your projects out of your head, sorting through those you are committed to versus those that no longer make sense for you, and prioritizing what remains can be incredibly liberating. Couple that with committed, consistent action and your energy level will begin to soar.

One Question To Answer

How many projects do you have up in the air?

Work

Do you have any pending projects that you keep putting off or that you never manage to get around to? Keep a particular eye out for projects that don’t align with your normal responsibilities, your work priorities or your scope of expertise.

Home

How many unfinished or unstarted home improvement projects, organizational tasks, landscaping or gardening plans and so on are waiting for your attention? This includes things like major or specific cleaning projects, attic sorting expeditions and making plans for an automobile upgrade.

Personal

What sort of personal projects do you have hanging around in limbo? What about that half-finished Spanish language course, or those craft projects you never get around to completing? This also includes personal plans such as setting up an exercise routine or a self-care regimen.

Family

Are there any unfinished family plans or projects hanging around making you feel guilty? Maybe you still have a camera full of photos from your last vacation waiting to be downloaded and printed, or perhaps that family trip you keep putting off planning.

Community/Friends

Do you keep “forgetting” to make plans for a girls’ night out, no matter how many emails the group sends you? Or maybe you’re supposed to be working on a project for your favorite charity, but just haven’t gotten around to it.

One Challenge To Take

Take inventory of the unfinished projects in your mind. Get them on paper and evaluate them to determine if they’re still meaningful to you. If they’re not, give yourself permission to put them to rest. You have a right to change your mind! If they are, get clear about what you want the outcome of each project to be—for example, a completed financial plan—and decide why this end result is important to you. Meaning creates momentum, so the process of connecting with why you’d like to accomplish the goal at hand will energize your actions.

Once you’ve identified those projects that you’re committed to, prioritize them. Decide which you’ll do first, which second, and so on. Then, begin working through the steps you’ll need to take to act on your first priority. Decide to commit a specific amount of time to the completion of your enterprise each week and follow through on that commitment. Work on one project at a time, giving yourself permission to move slowly and steadily.

Until Next Week,

Kim

Week Eleven: Tame Your To-Do List

Welcome to Week Eleven of The 52 Week Remodel Your Reality Challenge! Last week we started the process of taming your to-do list. I asked you to clear your mind of the many tasks and projects you had stored in your mental inventory by moving through a brain dump, and writing down every item floating around in your mind. I also challenged you to create some structure around these items, by grouping similar tasks. Today we’re going to put that structure into your calendar.  

One Thing To Think About

Last week we organized items on your to-do lists into two groups; repetitive activities and one-time activities. We’re going to take three steps to incorporate both activity groupings into your life. We’ll do that by integrating them into your calendar. First, a few words of advice;

  • Repetitive Activities: An effective way to manage repetitive activities is to establish a routine around their completion. For example, if you know you need to pay bills weekly, the most effective way for you to make this happen is to pick a day of the week (even a time of the day) you will do so. Schedule that appointment into your calendar, and show up to complete this task every week. While you may need to make exceptions occasionally, this is by far the most effective tactic I’ve used in helping my clients work repetitive tasks into their calendars with ease.

Another helpful approach to managing your repetitive tasks is to take advantage of outside resources. For example, could you make a standard grocery list, and use an internet grocery service to deliver food items to your house each week? Is it possible for you to have your dry cleaner deliver to your home, instead of having to make the trip to their store each week? Investing a small amount of time to set up a system that supports your repetitive errands can simplify your process.

  • One-Time Activities: When addressing occasional errands, it’s most productive to group them together and attempt to complete them within close proximity to one another. While this is not always possible, your willingness to consider this new approach can support you in managing your inventory of tasks.

One Challenge To Take

Okay, it’s the moment of truth. No more overwhelm. No more excuses. It’s time to take control of your to-do list. You’ll do that by taking control of your calendar.

  • Step One: Get your calendar out.
  • Step Two: Pull out your list of repetitive tasks. Pick one item, and make a standing appointment with yourself, where you will show up to address that task each week. (I understand you will have multiple items on your list.       It’s okay to get your structure started with just one of these items. If you feel incredibly ambitious, you can develop a structure for all of them. Yet, even committing to one will put you well on your way to success).
  • Step Three: Consider your list of repetitive tasks. Does any item lend itself to delivery? Can you set up an internet grocery delivery or delivery of your dry cleaning? If so, make an appointment with yourself for the upcoming week to complete that process.
  • Step Four: Pull out your list of one-time errands. Put them in order of priority. What has to be done first, second, third? Now, pick two to three items to complete this week, and schedule an appointment in your calendar to address them. Next week, come back to your list, and select the next few items to tackle.

I know this sounds simple, and it really is. Taking control of your to-do list can be successfully accomplished when you combine structure with routine. Now you just need to show up to work your routine!

Until Next Week…

Kim

Week Ten: Tackle Your To-Do List

Welcome to Week Ten of The 52 Week Remodel Your Reality Challenge! Last week I challenged you to take control of your mental energy. Your homework required you to do a brain dump; literally writing down every to-do, task, and project you had floating around in your head. This first step was designed to help you clear a bit of mental real estate. Over the next two weeks we’re going to tame that to-do list! We’ll get started today by putting some structure around your list. 

One Thing To Think About

I’m convinced that all women will reach the end of their lives with a to-do list. You juggle so many roles and responsibilities in your daily life, how could you function without one? Used proactively, lists can be great tools for supporting you in tracking the actions you need to take. Used destructively, lists can create feelings of overwhelm, frustration, and defeat.

One Challenge To Take

Take a look at the list you created last week. Review each item on your list and ask yourself if the item in question really needs to be completed.

I’ve worked with many clients who took such satisfaction in crossing things off their list or who got such a charge from having a full list of things to do that they put items on their lists that really didn’t need to be addressed. Evaluate your inventory, and make sure that each task you’ve noted really needs to be handled. If it does, keep it on your list. If not, cross it off. (See – you’re already making progress!)

Once you’ve cleared any tasks that don’t need addressing, create structure using these two steps.

  • Step One: Group related activities into categories. For example, all tasks that involve running errands could be organized into one category (errands), items that require phone calls and email responses another (communication), and so on.
  • Step Two: Once you have your categories defined, separate them into either repetitive activities (grocery shopping or your weekly team conference call) or one-time activities (running to the hardware store or attending an event).

That’s it for the week. Next week we’ll talk about streamlining both types of activities. This week, enjoy the process of putting some structure to your tasks. You have taken the first step in taming your to-do list.

 

Kim

Week Nine: Assess Your Mental Energy

Welcome to Week Nine of The 52 Week Remodel Your Reality Challenge! You are doing great. By now you’ve made just a bit of time for yourself, have started to set up a support system, begun to take care of your physical body, and started to consider how your physical environment impacts your energy. You’ve done great work!

As a reminder, in the last couple of weeks we’ve really started to look at energy. Specifically, I’ve suggested that there are three kinds of energy which impact our lives; physical, mental, and emotional. Over the last two weeks we’ve taken a look at the two areas that impact your physical energy; the way you take care of your body and the way you manage your space. This week, I’d like to talk about the second type of energy – mental energy.  

One Thing To Think About

In a nutshell, your energy is impacted by what goes on in your head. You can liken the available space in your mind to that of a computer’s hard drive. The more items you save in your memory bank, the less space you have available to support your vitality. While factors in this area are slightly less tangible than those impacting your physical energy, they are no less profound.

Mental energy revolves around your commitments. When you maintain an inventory of projects you’ve started but not finished, a running to-do list, or a series of cumbersome promises, you set yourself up for energetic depletion, because each of these items takes up valuable space in your mind. 

One Question To Answer

What does your mental hard-drive look like? Take the quick quiz that follows

  • Do you schedule more tasks in a given day than you can reasonably accomplish?
  • Do you put important tasks or projects off?
  • Do you have a list of half-completed projects that need to be addressed?
  • Are you consistently late to scheduled appointments?
  • Do you accept requests and invitations you would prefer to decline, or spend time with people you don’t like?
  • Do you commit to projects out of a sense of obligation; accepting responsibilities because you’re worried about what others will think of you if you don’t?
  • Have the same tasks or projects been on your to-do list for more than three months?

If you answered yes to three or more of these questions your hard-drive is on overload! We need to clean it up.

One Challenge To Take

Making commitments you fail to make good on undermines your self-esteem and diminishes your confidence in your ability to follow through. (I know – potentially depressing, isn’t it?) Well, it doesn’t have to be.

I have a truth for you. I’ve never worked with a woman who didn’t “fail” this quiz (myself included). That doesn’t mean you are a failure. It means you are a woman. Life is designed to set you up for failure! It’s time to short-circuit this process. Let’s get started TODAY.

Your homework is simple. I challenge you to make a list of the various tasks, projects, and commitments you currently have stored in your mind. (I – quite inelegantly – call this a brain dump).

Do your brain dump today – perhaps even throughout this week. If you’re thinking about the fact that you want or have to do anything – write it down on your list. Bring your list to next week’s session. We’re going to make it mean something.

Until then – just get this stuff out of your head. Enjoy the liberation you will experience as a result.

Until Next Week…

Kim

Week Eight: Manage Your Physical Space

We’re in Week Eight of The 52 Week Remodel Your Reality Challenge! By now you’ve likely started to make some real changes in your life, and I’m willing to bet you’ve begun to enjoy an element of momentum – which makes you feel great. Congratulations!

Last week we started talking about energy, and I introduced you to the concept of physical energy, as it relates to the way you take care of your body. (I hope you took last week’s challenge and integrated at least one strategy to take care of your body!) This week we’re going to talk about your physical space. 

One Thing To Think About

When you proactively commit to managing your environment, you not only reduce the energy cost of routine tasks, you also increase your personal comfort and satisfaction. Whether you realize it or not, your surroundings have a strong impact on you. A chaotic, disorganized setting is energetically expensive. While it may require some elbow grease up front, creating a well-ordered environment at work and at home will increase your vitality.

One Question To Answer

How well do you take care of your physical space?

  • Are your home and work environments clean and free from clutter?

It may seem counterproductive to invest energy in cleaning up your environment. After all, you want to increase your power, not engage in the drudgery of cleaning closets or sorting files. However, a clean, orderly environment is imperative if your goal is to maintain high levels of energy.

  • Does every item you own have a home?

It is much easier to maintain order in your environment when every item has a home or a place where it belongs. As you move through the room-to-room sweep of your home and drawer-to-drawer sweep of your office, make sure to decide where you will keep each of the things you’re hanging on to.

  • Do you require your family to help you maintain order?

Running a home is a monumental task, especially if there are other people (for example, little people) in your family. I established a rule in our home a long time ago that I would not do things for my children that they could do for themselves. As a result, they put their own laundry away. They clear their plates from the table and put them in the dishwasher. When they take something out, such as a toy or book, they are responsible to put the item back when they’re finished with it. They’ve been successfully following these standards since they were as young as four years old. Admittedly, I’m still working on my husband, but that’s another story.

  • Are you open to outsourcing?

In business, outsourcing involves hiring an outside party to manage an operational process on your behalf. This principle can support you in managing the many tasks associated with your life as well. If the prospect of organizing every room in your home or each space in your office is too distasteful to contemplate, hire a professional organizer to take over the task. If cooking dinner after a full workday feels cumbersome, embrace the concept of take-out or hire a cook to prepare a week’s worth of meals for your family. Ask your assistant to take over your filing or to return phone calls on your behalf.

One Challenge To Take

It’s time to take care of your physical space! This week pick at least one of the simple strategies I’ve outlined below, and begin to condition a habit of taking care of your material environment.

  • Clean Up The Clutter!

Schedule one to two days in your calendar to clean up your physical life!

  • Designate a Home For Every Item You Own!
  • Ask Your Family For Help.

Call a family meeting. Let everyone know that you need help. (This is not a failure!!!) Assign key tasks. Now – let each family member deliver on their tasks.

  • Outsource!

Find at least one thing to outsource. It doesn’t matter if it’s cooking, cleaning, errands, or driving. Ask for, secure, and revel in a little help!

The more willing you are to invest in caring environment, the more likely you are to experience high levels of energy in your day-to-day reality. While the strategies we’ve covered are simple – yet not always easy to incorporate into your life, they become possible when you commit!

Until Next Week,

Kim

Week Seven: Take Care of Your Physical Body

Welcome to Week Seven of The 52 Week Remodel Your Reality Challenge! By now you have six powerful weeks of thinking, acting, and answering your way into a more balanced and passionate life. Congratulations on the great work you’ve done so far! This week, we’re going to start the process of reclaiming your energy.

One Thing To Think About

Energy is the physical and mental power to perform work. You require energy to support every thought, word, action, and interaction in your life. The cruel joke relative to energy is that you’re only given a finite portion of it each day.

There are three kinds of energy—physical, mental, and emotional. The way you manage these areas will impact your ability to live each day with vitality. Over the next few weeks, we’ll consider each of these three factors, and I’ll challenge you to identify places in your life where you can increase the energy available to you. This week, we’ll take a look at your physical energy.

The physical factor of energy involves your physiological body and your material environment. The manner in which you care for your physical world directly impacts the energy available to you each day. Ultimately, these elements have the opportunity to support and simplify your life or to create repetitive stress and complexity in your daily experience.

One Question To Answer

How well do you take care of your body?

  • Do you drink at least 8 glasses of water each day? This might be the simplest yet most effective method available to you to increase your energy.
  • Do you fuel your body with a balance of high quality food every day? Like a car; your engine needs fuel.   A hungry body cannot operate at optimal levels. (Neither can a body stuffed with unhealthy processed food!)
  • Do you get enough sleep at night? Most of use need at least seven hours of sleep each night. If you’re not getting adequate rest your energy will be compromised.
  • Do you move your body every day? While you don’t have to hit the gym for hours every day, it’s imperative that you move it a bit. The simple habit of taking a brisk walk several times a week can drastically impact your energy levels.

One Challenge To Take

It’s time to take care of your physical self! This week pick at least one of the simple strategies I’ve outlined below, and begin to condition a habit of taking care of your body!

  • Develop a Hydration Habit: Drink at least 8 glasses of water throughout the day. Start each day with a glass of water, and carry a water bottle around with you in order to make sure you’re properly hydrated.
  • Fuel Your Body: Eat five to six small meals each day, spaced 3-4 hours apart.
  • Rest Up: Based on the time you need to get up in the morning, establish a bed-time for yourself. Then – honor it!
  • Get Moving: Commit to a time during the day when you will show up to move your body. The activity you select is much less important than your commitment to show up and move!

The more willing you are to invest in caring for your body, the more likely you are to experience high levels of energy in your day-to-day reality. While the strategies we’ve covered are simple – yet not always easy to incorporate into your life, they becomepossible when you commit to them.

 

Until Next Week,

Kim

Week Six: Secure Support

Welcome to Week Six of The 52 Week Remodel Your Reality Challenge! By now you have taken a moment to recognize the phenomenal power living within you, committed to making (and taking) time for yourself, and started to anticipate the obstacles that can derail your success. This week, we’re going to focus on another crucial component of creating a joyful and prosperous life; support.

One Thing To Think About

Long-held habits and behaviors can be difficult to change. Altering them requires consistency and focus. We’ve established that your ability to show up for yourself each day will be crucial to your success. Another critical component of your accomplishment involves securing a support system.

We all need someone to celebrate with when we win and encourage us when we fall. The people you turn to for regular support will be one of the greatest predictors of your life’s success and satisfaction – or failure and frustration.

One Question To Answer

Think about the people in your life.

  • Who lifts you up and supports you through both good and bad times?
  • Who tears you down or causes you to question yourself when what you really need is validation and encouragement?
  • Ultimately, what type of support system do you need in order to create the results you want in your life and work?

One Challenge To Take

It’s time to create that system of support. We’ll get started by leveraging the relationships you share with people who lift you up – and limiting your interaction with those who do not.

  • This week, acknowledge the people in your life who support you. Thank them for their encouragement, and let them know how much you appreciate their presence in your life.

    Share your dreams with them, and ask them for help. (Perhaps one of these friends might even want to take The 52 Week Remodel Your Reality Challenge with you).

  • Think about the people you’ve identified who are not playing a supportive role in your life. In future weeks, we will discuss a communication strategy you can use to ask this type of person to change their behavior. For now, it’s best to limit the time you spend with this group of people – at least during the first weeks of this challenge.

If you can’t limit your time with them, minimally avoid discussing the new direction you’re moving in. The buds of change are precious and fragile. They must be protected from harsh conditions (such as these critics) if they are to blossom and grow.

I cannot stress how important it is to invest your valuable time and emotional energy in nurturing relationships that challenge you, lift you up, and provide you with acceptance and love.   This week, give yourself this gift!

Until Next Week,

Kim

Week Five: Anticipate Obstacles

Have you ever embarked on a personal improvement program only to fall off the wagon within a few weeks of getting started? What caused you to fail?

Did you have trouble making the time to apply the program’s material? Did you try to do too much at once? Were you talking to yourself in a disempowering way, saying things such as, “I never finish what I start” or “It won’t matter anyway”?

One Thing To Think About

We fail to succeed because we fail to anticipate the forces in our lives that have the potential to derail our focus. It doesn’t matter what the source of these factors are; whether they’re related to a lack of time, a lack of personal belief, or a lack of real conviction. The unexamined presence of these saboteurs in your life will slow you down (at best), or (in a worst case scenario) stop you in your tracks.

One Question To Answer

What factors have the potential to stop you from succeeding? Invest a few moments to identify the one or two key things you know could stop you from completing The 52 Week Remodel Your Reality Challenge.

One Challenge To Take 

Once you’ve determined what your stumbling blocks could be, decide how you’ll handle them, and handle them bin advance! For example;

  • If you’ve failed in the past because you didn’t have time to work through the material in a program, sit down with your calendar and make appointments with yourself for the next 48 weeks. (Give yourself one hour every week to review and apply the principles of that week’s lesson to your life.)

    I know this seems like a long time, but keep this in mind: In just a little less than one year, your life can be better than it is right now, or it can be worse. You get to decide which.)

  • If you’ve discovered that you talk to yourself in a self-defeating manner, decide that you’re going to recondition that disempowering habit. Identify the phrase you usually use that sets you up for failure. Then, create an alternative, affirmative statement to use in place of your self-defeating mantra.

For example, instead of telling yourself, “I never finish what I start,” change that phrase to “I may not have finished programs in the past, but I’m not living in the past. I’m living in the present, and right now I’m committed to finishing this program.”

Remember, change does not happen overnight. It involves a replacement of old and disempowering behaviors with new and empowering ones. This reconditioning process takes time and consistency. The 52 Week Remodel Your Reality Challenge has been designed to help you successfully move through this process; one step at a time. Take this week’s step, and you will find yourself just a little bit further down the path of positive change.

 

Until Next Week,

Kim

Week Four: Personalize Balance

In the last couple of weeks we’ve addressed the primary question I hear from people all over the world, “How do I find time for what matters to me?” I hope you have enjoyed and benefited from our discussion.

The second most prominent question I encounter as I meet with people around the world has to do with balance. “How do I balance all of the demands of my life; work, home, family and self?” That’s what we’re going to talk about this week.

One Thing To Think About

You are unique, and your life is like no other. What equates to life balance for your neighbor or co-worker probably won’t work for you. You must define balance for yourself.

Balance isn’t necessarily about not being busy, although that may be part of your definition. It’s about taking care of all of you and all of what is important to you.

 

One Question To Answer

What does your ideal balanced life look like? What do you have time for? What do you get to enjoy? How much down time do you have? Take a few moments and define your balanced life (on paper) right now.

 

One Challenge To Take

Take one action this week to put just one component of your balanced life into action.

  • If your balanced life includes exercise, make appointments with yourself this week to begin training.
  • If your balanced life includes time with friends, make a date to get together with a friend you care about.
  • If your balanced life includes time invested in a career you love, take one step to begin manifesting your vocational dream.

It doesn’t matter what you do – so long as you do something. Take your first step, and begin living in balance!

Until Next Week,

Kim

http://www.kimfulcher.com